I’ve been practicing tarot for several years now, and I’ve noticed I’m absolutely terrible at reading for myself, especially when it comes to relationship questions. It’s like my objectivity completely vanishes, and I end up seeing every possible interpretation except the obvious one staring me in the face.
The frustrating part is that I can read for complete strangers with crystal clarity, but the moment it’s about my own life, I become this confused mess pulling card after card, hoping for a different answer. I wonder if we’re just not meant to be our own readers because we’re too emotionally invested to see clearly.
Has anyone actually mastered the art of reading for themselves without the wishful thinking taking over?
Deepen Your Tarot Practice Beyond the Cards
Finding meaningful tarot discussions and authentic guidance can be surprisingly difficult. Discover a space where your questions are welcomed and your intuitive growth is celebrated: Start Your Journey
Oh man, early days with tarot. I remember being so confused, sitting there with my grandmother’s old deck and having no idea what I was doing.
I kept pulling cards, hoping something would make sense about whatever guy I was hung up on. Self-readings get weird because you know yourself too well. Or maybe not well enough?
I would % read this thread:
Knowing how to give better readings for anyone like this will really help when you’re doing readings for yourself.
I’ve been doing solo readings forever. That emotional stuff you’re talking about is real. Sometimes I pull a card and just feel something before my brain catches up.
Yeah, my self-readings are kind of a mess because of bias.
The best thing to do is to read with someone else to start with. Ideally, someone who isn’t going to sugarcoat the messages they see (often the case when best friends get a deck together).
As you see how others read the cards for you, you learn how to do it yourself properly.
Like I’ll get The Tower and be like ‘oh this is fine, probably just means a small change’ when it’s clearly telling me shit’s about to hit the fan : sweat_smile: I mostly just use personal readings to practice with the deck now. Though I definitely still reshuffle when Death shows up in my work spreads : skull: Old habits I guess
I’ve been trying something different with my self-readings lately. Instead of looking for concrete answers about what’s going to happen, I focus more on what I’m feeling. Like when The Fool shows up, I think about why I might be craving something new spiritually rather than wondering if it means I should take that job.
The Lovers card used to stress me out. Will they text back? Are we meant to be together? All that. Now I just use it to look at my patterns around relationships and the choices I make.
Yeah, I struggle with this too. I think most good readers come up against this (bad ones don’t even think about the potential problems).
Self-reading for relationship stuff is hard because you want certain answers. What works for me is practicing on boring topics first. Like pulling a card for work stuff or what to cook for dinner. You get better at being objective when there’s no emotional investment. When I’m really wound up about something, I stick to one card pulls.
Or maybe just use Major Arcana cards. Less to overthink that way. I also started pulling a daily card in the morning, but not looking at the meaning until the night. By then, I can see how it actually relates to my day instead of trying to make it fit what I wanted.
Sometimes I create my own spread positions based on what I need to hear, rather than what I want to hear. Like ‘what am I avoiding’ or ‘the unsexy truth.’ Your gut reaction to the card tells you a lot. If you’re disappointed by what you pull, that’s information.
Been there. I pulled the Tower reversed again and again, asking about a job. I read it as a bad sign.
What followed was the dismantling of my old work setup. Not fun, but it was accurate. Reading for myself is hardest with relationships. I asked about getting back in touch with an old friend. Three of Swords kept showing. I tried to spin it as healing.
It was a heads-up about reopening wounds. The meetup hurt.
When I’m emotional, my reads get messy. The cards can mirror something true, but I’ll bend the meaning to fit what I want. That’s usually where I go wrong. Now I let the uncertainty sit. I test a couple of interpretations and watch my gut-the one that feels heavy is usually the one.
I get super specific with my questions to avoid lying to myself (though let’s be real, it doesn’t always work when feelings are involved).
Instead of vague stuff that lets my brain fill in whatever it wants, I ask things like ‘what blind spots am I creating here?’ or ‘what am I ignoring about this person?’,
My way to start is ‘what would my most honest friend say if they saw these cards?’
The cards can’t stop us from seeing what we want to see, but they’re pretty good at calling BS when you ask the right questions. Though yeah, I definitely reshuffle when the tower shows up. That was just a practice draw anyway, right? nervous laughter
% read this thread: