I’m curious if anyone here uses tarot to explore sexual dynamics with a specific person in mind?
My current partner and I are both into tarot and we want to do readings (separately at first) to understand our sexual connection better. Looking for spread ideas that could reveal things like: our individual sexual shadows, how we trigger each other’s patterns, what sacred potential exists between us, and how to cultivate healthier intimacy.
The body-mind-spirit approach seems good, but I am wondering if anyone has suggestions for positions that specifically address partnership dynamics rather than just individual sexuality?
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You don’t need it but if you really want to do a reading like this you could get a sexual Tarot deck. The artwork is pretty heavily based on… intimacy and it could make your spread easier.
They’re popular decks and great for this sort of thing.
In any case, this is the rough spread I would use:
- Your Sexual Self - Your current sexual energy/blocks
- Their Sexual Self - Their current sexual energy/blocks
- Bridge - What connects you both sexually/energetically
- Mirror - What you reflect/trigger in each other
- Shadow - Unconscious patterns playing out between you
- Gift - What this connection is teaching you both
- Invitation - The… “next step” between you
I always recommend that both partners do this spread separately first, then compare notes if you’re both comfortable. The Mirror and Shadow Dance positions tend to be incredibly revealing.
I have an easy 5 card one (I can’t remember where I got this, might have been here).
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Card 1 & 2: Pull two cards simultaneously. These are your individual sexual energies right now
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Card 3: Lay this between cards 1 and 2. This is your combined sexual alchemy (what you create together)
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Card 4: Above card 3. The cosmic lesson/spiritual purpose of your sexual connection
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Card 5: Below card 3. The earthly/practical action to take for better intimacy
This is the chemistry check spread. Sometimes Card 3 will be like completely different energy than either Card 1 or 2, showing how you transform each other.
Last time we did this I got Queen of Wands, he got Knight of Cups, and our alchemy card was The Star - 
% how we balance each other out!
Do it during the new moon for manifestation vibes or full moon for release work 
Foundation Row (Past Influences):
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Position 1: Your sexual conditioning/history affecting the present
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Position 2: Their sexual conditioning/history affecting the present
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Position 3: Karmic/past life connection (if you believe in that)
Present Row (Current Dynamic):
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Position 4: Your desire nature/what you seek
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Position 5: Their desire nature/what they seek
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Position 6: The point of friction or growth edge
Integration Row (Future Potential):
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Position 7: Physical plane healing needed
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Position 8: Emotional plane healing needed
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Position 9: Spiritual union potential
I skip outcome positions in sexual spreads. Just focus on co-creation and process instead. I use a court-card map, you each pick a card for your bedroom style (Queen of Cups = needs reassurance, Knight of Wands = wants variety, etc). Draw three cards: triggers you carry, repair language that works for you, gesture that helps you feel safe. If you track which courts keep showing up month to month, you can see how things shift between you.
I use a simple 3-card ‘Before/During/After’ spread - not literally about the act itself but the energy you bring TO the connection, what emerges DURING your intimate moments, and what lingers AFTER.
Check out the Celtic Cross, but reimagine each position through a sexual lens! Like position 1 becomes ‘current sexual energy,’ position 2 becomes ‘what’s blocking/enhancing it,’ etc. I did this with my girlfriend and the ‘hopes and fears’ position absolutely called us both out lol
I like a ‘desire mapping’ spread:
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What I think I want
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What they think they want
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What I actually need
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What they actually need
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Where these align
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How to honor the differences.
I love how many great peopel we have here, thank you for these spreads.
I’d start with a straightforward 3-card spread, one for physical connection, one for communication stuff, and one for trust issues. Keep it simple at first. You can always do more complex spreads later if you need to dig deeper.
Sacred masculine/feminine spread:
Pull 2 cards each for your inner masculine and feminine energies, then 2 for theirs, then 1 for how all four dance together.
I have a “will we have sex” spread:
- Their Current Desire Level (How interested they actually are sexually)
- Your Current Desire Level (Your actual interest (sometimes reveals surprises!))
- The Block/Bridge (What’s either preventing or encouraging physical connection)
- Timing Card (When it might happen (courts = soon, majors = significant timing, etc))
- The Aftermath (How you’ll both feel if/after it happens)
- Spirit’s Take (Whether this connection serves your highest good)
I arrange them in a pyramid shape with cards 1 and 2 at the base. The timing card is weirdly accurate - I got 3 of Wands for a guy and it happened on our third date.
Been experimenting with a 6-card spread where both partners do it separately, you pull for current sexual energy, what’s influencing it, body/mind/spirit aspects, then a goal card.
The comparison between partners’ cards is where it gets useful. If one person gets fiery wands for their ‘body’ card and the other gets emotional cups, that shows how you might be setting each other off. The ‘what’s causing this’ position tends to bring up those sexual shadows, while the goal card points to where you could go together. My partner and I had completely different ‘spirit’ cards, which explained a lot about why we weren’t connecting the same way.
I like spreads that deal with the body and sexuality. Been using both tarot and oracle cards for this kind of work. While tarot gives you structure and narrative, oracle decks connect more with physical sensations through their imagery. I really like using the sexual magic tarot deck for this.
I’ve worked with both systems after sexual trauma. Tarot helped me map out what happened and see patterns. Oracle cards bypass all the mental stuff and just tell me what I need to hear. There’s something about combining them that tarot lays out the story, and the oracle fills in what my body knows.
That’s a nice spread you’ve got there. Were you able to work through whatever’s been blocking you? I’m more of an oracle card person myself. I appreciate both types though, tarot gives you that whole system of symbols to work with, and oracle cards are more direct with their messages. The imagery on oracle decks can be really helpful too. Sometimes I use both types together, depending on what I’m looking for.
Seven of Cups is my go-to for those ‘is this real or am I imagining it’ relationship questions. I came across a spread called the Passion Compass. Four cards: North (what gets your mind going), South (physical attraction), East (stuff to explore), West (what to drop). Knight of Wands always pops up in the East spot for me. Meanwhile King of Cups hangs out in West, which makes sense given the whole emotional baggage thing.
Card 1: IF - Will sex happen? (Look for movement cards vs stuck cards)
Card 2: WHEN - Timing indicator (Aces = new beginning, 10s = completion of cycle, etc)
Card 3: WHY/WHY NOT - The driving force or blocking factor
Card 4: WHAT TO DO - Your best action to take
Pull them in a diamond shape. I’ve found Wands = days, Cups = weeks, Swords = months, Pentacles = seasons for timing. Major Arcana means it’s a significant karmic connection. This spread correctly predicted my dry spell would end in autumn (pulled in summer, got Queen of Pentacles for timing, met someone at a harvest festival!).
Current Sexual Energy Between You
Their Conscious Desire
Your Conscious Desire
Their Blocks/Fears
The Catalyst (what triggers physical connection)
Your Blocks/Fears
Near Future (next 3 months)
Alternate Timeline (what happens if you DON’T connect)
Ultimate Outcome (if you DO connect)
I’ve been playing around with a two-deck spread for checking in with partners. Each person uses their own deck and pulls three cards - what they’re open to, their boundaries, and what they need for aftercare. We keep a neutral deck in the middle for pulling a witness card and three stoplight cards (green/yellow/red for yes/maybe/no).
Sometimes I look at the elemental balance too - if one person pulls mostly Wands and the other gets Cups, that tells you something about energy levels. Curious if anyone else reads consent spreads or has different methods.